An Innocent Question
by sakurakasai
Summary: This story is a oneshot. What happens when Rin asks Sesshoumaru a simple qeustion that most little kids ask? This question is so innocent, but Sesshoumaru can't seem to answer it. So what will he do? rated for some language.


Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Inuyasha. (Although I would like to own Fluffy and all his hotness) They sadly belong to Rumiko Takahashi. Also I do not own Jell-O. What is the world coming to when you can't even own flavored horse hooves?

A/N: This is my first fanfic ever. My friend, Setsunai, helped me write it. It actually started as a little note that she passed me in study hall. Then I added on to it. Um… she wrote a little bit past the first dividing line. Then I just continued the story. Oh, and this is a oneshot. Also, the song that Sesshy sings later is to the tune of 'I'm Bringing Home a Baby Bumble Bee'. And the characters might be a little OOC.

This is the key. i hope its not confusing.

Sesshoumaru- Sess/ 'Sesshy's thoughts' / _Sesshy's actions_

Inuyasha- Inu / _Inu's actions_

Kagome- Kag/ 'Kage's thoughts' / _Kage's actions_

Rin / _Rin's actions_

Miroku- Mir/ _Miroku's actions_

Sango- San / 'Sango's thoughts'

Jaken

**Everyone's actions**

-------

Sess: Dammit Jaken—stop.

Jaken: Sorry Milord, it won't happen again.

Sess: I hope not—or you will die.

Rin: Lord Sesshoumaru?

Sess: Yes, Rin? _shiny eyes_

Rin: Where do babies come from? _twinkle_

Jaken: You stupid girl—don't ask such stupid questions! Right, Lord Sesshouma—

Rin: Hee hee! You killed Jaken!

Sess: Rin?

Rin: Yes milord?

Sess: I can't answer that, but I will take you to someone who can, alright?

Rin: Yes, milord!

-------

Inu: DAMMIT SESSHOUMARU!

Rin: Inuyasha-san, where do babies come from?

Inu: AAAAAAAAAH!

Kag: Calm down Inuyasha, it's just a simple question.

Inu: Feh. Then you answer it wench.

Kag: Fine I will.

Sess: Miko— answer Rin's question…or I will take all your MUFFINS! I will be back to pick her up later.

Rin: Kagome-sama?

Kag: Yes Rin-san?

Rin: Will you answer my question?

Kag: Of course Rin-san.

Rin: Where do babies come from?

Kag: Well, you see—

Mir: It all starts with the birds and the bees—

San: SMACK! You pervert, she doesn't need to be told like that.

Mir: But my dearest Sango, she will find out eventually that—

SMACK!

SMACK!

Mir: Hey, what were those for?

Kag: Mine was for your perverted thoughts.

San: And mine was for your wandering hand.

Mir: But it has a mind of its own!

Rin: Kagome-sama, can you answer my question now?

Kag: Huh? Oh sure. Well you see, babies come from—

Inu: The stork.

**silence**

Rin: _excited._ Really?

Inu: Yes, babies come from the stork.

Kag: Inuyasha, SIT! Don't lie to her!

Inu: But—

Kag: I don't want to hear it! SIT!

Inu: Listen wench, your not going to go into depth about it with her are you?

Kag: Of course not. You're just as bad as Miroku.

Inu: Wha—?

Kag: _walks over to where Rin is standing._ Ok Rin-san, I'll answer your question now.

Rin: _under breath._ took you long enough.

Kag: Hmm?

Rin: Nothing Kagome-sama.

Kag: Ok. Well, babies… >10 minutes later>

Rin: Thank you very much Kagome –sama.

Kag: Your welcome, Rin-san.

Mir: Do you have anymore questions Lady Rin? Because if you want, I could—

San: SMACK! Pervert.

Mir: Lady Sango, it hurts me that you think of me as a pervert.

San: Well you are.

Mir: _sigh._ Well, you leave me no other choice. I will have to tell everyone here something that I have kept secret for a very long time. You see, I—

Inu: Miroku get your ass over here!

Mir: Bye!

San: 'Hmm. I wonder what that was about.'

Rin: Excuse me, Sango-sama?

San: Hm? Oh, yes Rin-san?

Rin: Have you seen Sesshoumaru-sama?

San: No. I haven't seen him since he dropped you off a few hours ago.

Rin: Oh, well Rin should find him and tell him the answer to her question.

Kag: Um… Rin-san? Why are you going to tell him the answer to your question?

Rin: Because Sesshoumaru-sama said that he didn't know the answer to Rin's question.

Rin: He didn't know the answer to the question! More likely the bastard—

Kag: Inuyasha, SIT! You need to watch your mouth around smaller children.

Inu: _smirk._ Why don't you make me?

Kag: Fine. SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! Now, roll over!

**stare**

Kag: Sorry, I just couldn't help myself.

Inu: glare Whatever bi— _death look_ — I mean wench.

Kag: Good boy! Here's a muffin.

**backs away slowly**

Mir: Hey we said the word 'question' a lot a few minutes ago.

**stare**

Kag: Wow that was really random.

Mir: Yes, I try.

Kag: Anyway…I'll go find Sesshoumaru; I don't think that you should be out there in the dark. I'll bring him back to come get you. Ok, Rin-san?

Rin: Yes! Thank you Kagome-sama!

Kag: _grin_ No problem.

-------

Sess: 'Hmm…I wonder if Rin's question was answered yet.'

Kag: Sesshoumaru! Where are you? THUD Ouch! Dammit all to hell...oo, Sesshoumaru. Um… how long were you standing there?

Sess: I just got here. What was that noise?

Kag: Oh um… _nervous laughter_ ...I uh… kinda tripped.

Sess: Over what? The ground is smooth.

Kag: Well, we are in a forest.

Sess: So?

Kag: So I obviously tripped over a tree root

Sess: But we're in a clearing.

Kag: Hey, I tripped over a tree root and that's final!

Sess: Oh yes, I forgot about those ever so troublesome invisible tree roots that go around tripping over-imaginative humans.

Kag: You know about those too?

Sess: _stare._ You know I was being sarcastic, right?

Kag: Oh, uh… yeah, of course. Heh, heh. I was too. _mutters._ Dammit, I thought I had a true believer.

Sess: Why were you looking for me, miko?

Kag: What? Oh yeah. Well you see, babies come from—

Sess: Miko, what are you doing?

Kag: I'm telling you where babies come from of course.

Sess: Why?

Kag: Well, Rin-san said that you didn't know the answer to her baby question, so I thought I would tell you.

Sess: Stupid miko, of course I know where babies come from.

Kag: Oh, then why did you bring her to Inuyasha?

Sess: First of all I thought it would be amusing to watch. And second, I didn't know how to explain it to her. _pause._ Speaking of which, you didn't go into detail about it with her did you?

Kag: Sesshoumaru! Of course not! The girl is only seven! You're just as bad as Miroku and Inuyasha!

Sess: Don't ever compare me to that lecher and half br—

Kag: Oh, I came to tell you that Rin-san is ready to leave because her question is answered. _skips off._

Sess: 'What a strange miko.'

-------

San: SMACK! Pervert!

Rin: Tee hee. You really smacked him hard Sango-sama! Do it again!

Mir: _Rub, Rub._

San: SMACK! Keep your hands off me, you lecher!

Mir: But Sango dearest, my hand is cursed, I swear!

San: Yeah right.

Mir: _sigh._ Once again, you leave me no other choice. I'll have to use Plan B.

San: What are you talking about?

Mir: Rin-san, will you bear my ch—

Sess: If you finish that sentence, I will take away your manhood.

Mir: Ok, well I have to go. I think I hear Sango calling me.

San: No I'm not, I'm right here.

Mir: Oh, well… Oh my god! What is that! _runs away._

Rin: I don't see it Sesshoumaru-sama. What was Houshi-sama pointing to?

Sess: He was pointing to… that field of flowers. Why don't you go pick some?

Rin: But it's 11 o'clock at night!

San: Right, but uh…it'll be magical picking flowers in the moonlight. Hey why don't we go with you?

Rin: Thank you Sango-sama! _runs off dragging Sango with her._

Kag: Hey Sesshoumaru, aren't you coming?

Sess: No.

Kag: Why not?

Sess: Because I can't.

Kag: Why?

Sess: Miko, you ask too many questions.

Kag: Then why don't you answer them in the first place?

Sess: There you go with the questions again.

Kag: I'm sorry, but why won't you go?

Sess: If you really must know, then I suppose I should tell you. But you aren't to repeat this to anyone. Understand?

Kag: _salutes._ Yes, sir!

Sess: _stare_

Kag: Sorry.

Sess: Anyway, the reason I can't pick flowers is because I get high off of them.

Kag: O…k… Hey, I think Sango's calling me! _runs away._

-------

Rin: Sesshoumaru-sama! Rin is so happy you're back! Houshi-sama told me all about the birds and the bees!

Sess: _Twitch, twitch. Nod_ I will be back Rin, stay here until I return.

Rin: Where are you going?

Sess: I'm going to go monk-hunting.

Rin: Be safe, Fluffy-sama! Rin will wait for you!

Kag: Poor Miroku. He doesn't know what he's gotten himself into this time. You should help him Sango.

San: Why me?

Kag: Because you could lure him away while I distract Sesshoumaru.

San: That's still not a good reason to—

Kag: Unless of course, you would like to get in the way of a very pissed Sesshoumaru.

San:In that case, I think I will go help the monk.

Sess: _glance. glance. sigh._ Good. No one's around. _singing:_

I'm gonna kill a pervert, yessiree,

Won't my mommy be so proud of me.

I'm gonna kill a pervert, yessiree,

Look he's bleeding!

I'm going to cause him pain, oh yessiree,

That's what he gets for talkin' 'bout birds and bees.

I'm gonna punch him hard for Rin you see,

She's too young to know about those things.

I'm—

Kag: HA HA HA HA! _crying from laughing so hard._ Sess— HA HA— Sesshou— HA HA HA— Sesshoumaru— oh my gawd! What was that! Maybe I should have sent Sango afterall. She would've laughed her head off. You don't seem as pissed as I thought you would be.

Sess: _glare._ How long were you following me, miko.

Kag: Long enough to hear your monk-hunting song. _laughter._ But seriously, that was ridiculously hilarious! I'm sorry, but grown demons should not be singing little girl songs.

Sess: Shut it miko.

Kag: Excuse me! Where do you get off telling me what to do!

Sess: Simple. I am a full demon and ruler of the Western Lands.

Kag: I don't care if you were a little girl who owned a pink rubber duck! Don't you ever tell me what to do!

Sess: So, the rumors I heard about you were true.

Kag: _sweetly._ what rumors Sesshy-sama?

Sess: _twitch, twitch._ _death glare._ What did you call me?

Kag: Nothing Sesshoumaru. Now please tell me these rumors that you've heard about me.

Sess: Well miko, rumors say th—

Kag: Wait! Did you just call me miko again! Listen you! I have a freakin' name, so use it! It's Kagome! Ka-go-me! _innocently._ Now please finish answering my question.

Sess: Rumor has it that you're bipolar.

Kag: _sniff._ Why would people start such horrible rumors about me?

Sess: Indeed. Those rumors are most certainly untrue.

Kag: Really? That's so sweet!

Sess: Wait. Weren't you just crying?

Kag: Yeah, but enough about that. I'm really happy right now because you believe me and not those terrible rumors.

Sess: Yes, they are blown out of proportion. I would say that you are at least tripolar. But that is just this Sesshoumaru's opinion.

Kag: What did you say you motherf—

San: Kagome! I found you!

Kag: Hey Sango! _whisper._ Did you hide him?

San:Yeah he's safe.

Sess: _suspiciously._ Who's safe?

Kag: Umm…I think Sango's calling me.

Sess: She's right next to you miko.

Kag: Oh, did I say Sango? I meant Inuyasha! Yeah that's right! Bye!

San: Kagome! How could you leave me here with him! Um…hi Sesshoumaru-sama. Well… look at the time! Hey I think Sango's calling me! Bye now!

Sess: 'That excuse has been used so many times within the past 24 hours that it doesn't even make sense anymore.'

----

Jaken: Milord! We have found you at last!

Rin: Sesshoumaru-sama! Rin has found you! Jaken wouldn't play with Rin. He was being mean!

Sess: Jaken…_deadly glare._

Rin: Wow! You stepped on Jaken! Do it again!

Sess: _step, smush, grind._

Rin: Ooh. I think you really hurt him this time. _pause._ Cool! You da bomb!

Sess: _stare._

Rin: Kagome-sama taught it to me.

Sess: I see. Well, let's pay the miko a visit and discuss what she tells you.

Rin: Ok.

-------

Jaken: Milord? Where are you? Huh? What is this? The filthy human girl is still here. Girl! Where is Lord Sesshoumaru!

Rin: He said he would be back soon. Sesshoumaru-sama said that you have to play with Rin until he gets back

Jaken: No. I will not entertain a worthless human.

Rin: Fine.

Jaken: I said n— what?

Rin: Fine. _kick, smush, stomp._ There, that's what you get for not playing with Rin.

Sess: Rin, I am back.

Rin: Sesshoumaru-sama! hugs Rin missed you! Jaken wouldn't play with Rin, so Rin punished him.

Sess: Good, Rin. _pat, pat._

Jaken: Milord! You are actually encouraging her to do this to me?

Sess: Oh no Rin, it seems that you didn't do you're your punishment to well. You see, Jaken is still moving and that could prove to be quite a problem.

Rin: I'm sorry Milord. Please teach Rin the proper ways of torture and punishment.

Sess: Well, to put it simply, the best way to dispose of Jaken is just to kick him far away _kick. _Like so.

Rin: I see. Thank you Milord! Rin can't wait to try that herself!

Sess: I see I have taught you well. Jaken shouldn't be much of a problem anymore.

Rin: Yes. He will serve Rin or face the consequences. Sesshoumaru-sama? _twinkle._

Sess: Yes, Rin? _shiny eyes._

Rin: Wow. De ja vou

Sess: Yes, quite. What were you going to ask, Rin?

Rin: Oh yeah, um…where did you go, Milord? You weren't gone for very long.

Sess: I went to find a place where we could set up camp for the night. It is near a hot spring and the miko's camp.

Rin: Really? We'll be near Kagome-sama?

Sess: Yes. We need to discuss the language that she uses in front of you, remember?

Rin: Yes, Rin remembers! Kagome-sama also told Rin that she could tell Sesshoumaru-sama to chill out. But Rin doesn't know why. It's already cool out and if Sesshoumaru-sama gets any chillier, he would freeze.

Sess: Hm… the miko's terminology does not make much sense. Her race must be less intelligent than I first thought them to be. 'With the obvious exception of Rin. She can be a bit dense sometimes, but her intellect exceeds that lecher they call a monk by far.' Come, Rin. We will go to our new camp before it gets dark.

Rin: Yes, Milord.

-------

Kag: It's too bad Sesshoumaru took Rin away so fast. She was so adorable!

Inu: Feh, she was an annoying little brat. It was about time we got rid of her.

Kag: Inuyasha! How could you say that! She wasn't even near you half the time!

Inu: Feh, doesn't stop her from being a hyperactive brat.

Kag: _sigh._ I wonder how she can stand traveling with Sesshoumaru. I mean, they're like total opposites. Rin is so lively—

Inu: and hyper, don't forget that.

Kag: Fine, I'll admit she can get a little hyper. But Sesshoumaru is just—

Inu: a cold, heartless bastard who doesn't give a damn about anyone else.

Kag: Inuyasha?

Inu: What?

Kag: Would you stop interrupting me every three seconds!

Inu: Feh, whatever bitch.

Kag: SIT! Don't you ever learn!

Inu: _mutter._ Whatever.

Kag: Now, like I was saying, Sesshoumaru is— Inuyasha? Where did you go?

Sess: Miko, what were you saying about me?

Kag: Um…hey Sesshoumaru. I was comparing Rin's personality to yours. Have you seen Inuyasha?

Sess: As soon as he caught my scent, he must have run off.

Kag: Yeah, I guess. So Sesshoumaru, what's going down in your part of the hood? Where's the rest of your posse?

Sess: _stare_

Kag: Um…what I meant to say was…um…where are Rin, Jaken, and Ah Un?

Sess: I left them back at camp.

Kag: Oh. I see. So why are you here?

Sess: I have come to tell you to watch what you say in front of Rin. She is saying things that she doesn't know the meaning of.

Kag: So why don't you tell her what it means then?

Sess: _growl._ Are you trying to ruin me miko?

Kag: Whatcha mean?

Sess: Are you trying to ruin this Sesshoumaru?

Kag: I still have no idea what you are talking about.

Sess: My pride miko. You just dashed my pride.

Kag: Oh…how so?

Sess: By making me admit that I do not understand your terminology.

Kag: Why didn't you just say do in the first place?

Sess: Because I thought you were more intellectual than I first thought you to be.

Kag: I see. Well, I'll have to explain my 'terminology' to you, won't I? When I say 'chill out' it means… >20 minutes later> There, now you know my vocabulary.

Sess: I see. Goodbye miko.

Kag: Would it kill you to say thank you?

Sess: Possibly.

Kag: Fine you jerk! Oh, and I have something to give to Rin-san. Wait! Here. Give this to her and tell her it's from me.

Sess: What is it?

Kag: Its Jell-O. I've given it to her before and she really liked it. Oh, and give this to her too. Before you ask, its perfume. It smells nice. _spritz._ Don't you like it?

Sess: No. About the Jell-O, you didn't do anything to it did you?

Kag: No! Geez. Why so suspicious? I wouldn't hurt Rin-san. She's just too cute!

Sess: _glare_

Kag: Fine, you wanna try some just to make sure? Here!

Sess: _sniff_ 'Damn, her perfume has dulled my sense of smell. I'll have to try it instead.

Kag: Well? Do you like it? You must sinceyou ate the whole thing. Here, have some that Grandpa made. >2 minutes later> Sesshoumaru? Hello? Anybody home? Wow. He's really knocked out. It must've been the Jell-O. But why…_gasp_…Gramps! 'Well I must thank Gramps for giving me vodka Jell-O shots.' Well, I don't want to miss this once-in-a- lifetime opportunity. _smirk _Now mighty Sesshoumaru, meet my amusement. 'First I have to make sure that he's out good. And I know just how to do it.' Omigod! Look Fluffy! Inuyasha's going to prance around in a dress!

Inu: Like hell I will!

Kag: Shut up and go away Inuyasha. Unless, you wish to suffer the same fate as your unfortunate half-brother here.

Inu: Kagome? What are you going to do?

Kag: _sweetly._ You'll see. Now please go away before I do the same to you. I'll call you when I'm finished.

Inu: _smirk._ That fool doesn't know what he's gotten himself into this time.

-----

Sess: 'Ugh. Where is that miko? Where are Jaken, Rin, and Ah Un? Most importantly, where the hell am I? Why am I so thirsty? I suppose I'll take a sip from that spring.' Miko!

Kag: Ooh…sounds like he found out.

San: He doesn't sound too happy. _giggle._ But Kagome, I don't think any man would be happy if you did that to them.

Kag: Yes well, it was quite fun and these pictures provide entertainment. I mean, look at Inuyasha. He hasn't stopped laughing since he saw the almighty Sesshoumaru with make-up on.

Inu: laughing Ka—Kago—Kagome. HA HA HA! Remind me never you piss you off. That was hysterical. Hey does that stuff ever come off?

Kag: Yeah. It will eventually. But not for awhile. I've used long lasting and waterproof. Also, red lipstick stains.

-------

Rin: Welcome back Sesshoumaru-sama! Ooh… you look pretty. Did you kiss Kagome-sama?

Sess: No Rin.

Rin: Then why are you wearing lipstick?

Sess: Here Rin. The miko told me to give this to you.

Rin: _completely distracted. _Yay! Jell-O!

Jaken: Milord? You are back?

Sess: Yes I am.

Rin: Doesn't Sesshoumaru-sama look pretty, Jaken?

Jaken: Um…you look very nice milord.

Sess: _deadly glare._ Are you mocking me Jaken? Rin, go pick some flowers.

Rin: Yes Sesshoumaru-sama!

Sess: Answer me, Jaken.

Jaken: N-no milord! I was merely complimenting on how well the eye shadow brings out your eyes.

Sess: _glare._ _coldly._ So now you're a beauty expert?

Jaken: N-no! I just meant that you look attractive milord!

Sess: I see. So you're actually gay. Well, I think I've heard enough from you. _kick._ One day miko, you will pay for what you have done to this Sesshoumaru.

-------

A/N: Well, that's the end of my story. Please R&R. No flames please. Ja ne!


End file.
